Weekend is over

It's Sunday night and the hubby and son went back home while me and baby girl are still at my mom's house. We finished sanding (ok hubby finished) , fixed plumbing for the sink, painted on the primer and laid out the tile. It looks really good if I say so myself, especially since its a first for us. I just need to paint the door, buy door hinges, then paint the room on Tuesday since it takes 24 hours for the tile to set and then grout it. Next week we will need to put in the vanity, mirror, and cabinet, reinstall the shower, and install the moldings. I can't wait for it to be done, because having everything ripped apart and in disarray stresses me out. If it was my house I wouldn't be as stressed but since its my mom's it makes me uneasy. So now I feel relief since the walls are primed and the floor is done, well clean that is.

Hopefully I will be able to get some sleep tonight since I got some physical activity today, but it's hard to sleep on this crappy old bed. Even if it was a nice new bed it's hard for me to sleep anywhere besides my own house and bed. Even then sleep invades me, I wish I could fall asleep and stay asleep like when I was younger but it seems harder and harder to fall and stay asleep. I have insomnia but I don't want to take any thing for it, I don't like to take any kinds of medicines. I'm one of those people who get the crappy side affects, if any are possible I get it so I tend not to take anything unless I have too. I only take claritin because I have allergies other wise I would not be taking that either.

I feel tired but can I can tell I'm getting PMSsy, I always get bloated, crampy, bitchy, irritable and just plain crazy when these damn eggs fall. I can actually feel which side they fall from because it hurts. When I was younger I never had these issues, seems like since I'm getting older I'm falling apart and feeling crappier by the day. I hate PMS, it sucks, I suck when I get this way...so far I'm not there yet but when I get to that point I need to keep super busy or else I will snap. I guess part of all this craziness I keeping on top if it, knowing when and what triggers me is my best defense. I guess that is also why I don't want to take any meds for the depression because even though part of it is biological/chemical another component is how I react to it. I know what the symptoms so I need to be proactive and take care of myself before I flip out. Self control, discipline, self awareness and action are required during these times. I need to be ok for my family but more so for myself.

Writing in this blog has helped since I've been keeping up it now and also having my new blog friend. It's nice to have someone who doesn't know me yet we seem to have so much in common. I guess that is what drove me to start this blog in the first place. After reading all those other blogs I realized I wasn't the only one who felt crazy, sad, tired or really mad at their kids. Made me feel human, part of a group, something I never really felt before. I love reading blogs, although I admit I can get carried away and that's all I do. It's addicting if it's a honest perspective, those are my favorite, ones that aren't censored or edited so they don't seem controversial or unpleasant or raw. But those are the best I think, straight out forward, frank and simply put.