To Feel Again.

It is amazing how things look and feel when your head is out of the fog, when the feeling of numbness wrapped in pain releases its grip on you. You feel alive again, you feel the pain but more than that you are unsatisfied to the point in which you want out of it. That is the difference in that you take active steps to move away from what makes you feel pain, discomfort and distraught. You do not just sit in your pain, numb unable to move forward or back but indifferent not really feeling. Maybe it is way to survive to be so numb that you do not feel the pain that is so deep that it may just kill you. You long to feel the pain, to relish in it because that means you are alive but you don't only to going through the motions.

So I have escaped this thing called depression, I feel alive again. I feel again, joy, sadness, anger, regret but I feel in which I have not in years. The sadness and sorrow that fills me whenever I think of my father is ok....I can accept it I'm moving forward. I miss him dearly and I always will but life must go on. I look at myself and can't believe how much I have changed yet I'm still here. I will be ok and god forbid I may go through this again but I know I will come out of it.

The laughter come deep from within, it comes from me, it warms me, it touches my heart and spreads throughout my body. It feels good to feel again.