Actions=Reactions

Action results in a reaction, so it shouldn't surprise me that since I'm not feeling like a caged up bear that I'm handling the baby girl's melt downs as I should and not like a crazed lunatic. I notice she has more outbursts, melt downs and tears when I'm feeling impatient and short. Or the truth is I can handle her better so she doesn't have a full blown tantrum. It lies on how I react to her, when I'm feeling the crazies I don't feel loving, patient or tolerant. Hell I can't even tolerate this skin I'm living in alone a whiny, monkey on my back pre-schooler.

Since the crazies has gone I've been patient and even nurturing...point in example last night we were in Target getting my niece a birthday present and baby girl had a melt down. She wanted a toy she saw and we told her no we weren't at the store for her but for her cousin. She actually cried and yelled out loud! Now this child has never had a tantrum in a store let alone demanding us buy her something but for the last two months since we have been staying at my mom's she has been spoiled.

My mom and aunt have been indulging in her every whim...they go out shopping together ( we call them the 3 amigos/ajumas) and they have bought her whatever she wants. This is a new thing for her so of course up till now the child who was content just going to store and looking at things demanded we get her a toy. The hubby was surprised and upset by her out burst and told her he was taking in the car. She cried louder saying"no I don't want to go outside, sorry daddy please!" Instead of getting louder and going off in korean I grabbed her arm, lowered myself to her and looked into her eyes and calmly told her "We already told you we are here for Katie's birthday present and not for you. It's not ok for you to yell or cry like this, so stop or else daddy will take you outside." And wouldn't you know she stopped...besides saying"I'm sorry mommy I won't do it again."

She continued to look at things and ask for them but for Christmas and had no more melt downs. I realise that since I didn't have a full blown cow over it she got over it faster...one thing about her she forgets easily , says I'm sorry and doesn't hold a grudge. How I love this little girl..no crazy stubbornness only when she wants me but not in wanting things her way. It's easy to love such a easy going child.

My point is that it really is important how I react to her actions and how things end really is up to me. I have a control over my reaction, I'm the adult (ok sometimes I forget) and it's up to me to defuse the situation before it gets worse. It starts with me to take care of myself before I get the crazies, to have me time , to nurture and take care of myself so I can take care and nurture the ones around me.