Sometimes I feel like writing, I have lots to get off my chest but then other times nothing. I have no inspiration what so ever to write anything, I follow all my blogs with earnest and dedication but I have nothing. Sometimes more than not I seem to be flat, no real emotion, like if I'm in energy conservation mode. It seem easier, I guess I'm used to be being brain dead since its been a few years I have been on this hiatus but I really believe I need to go back. I need conversation, I need mental stimulation, I need to work my brain by learning new things. Being a SAHM isn't for me not permanently regardless of how much money we had, if we had it. I need more than cleaning house, cooking meals and taking care of my family. It just doesn't cut it for me, the truth be it I believe I'm not cut out for this. I don't have the patience, I have more patience and understanding towards other kids just not mine.

The daily small repetitive things irk me, so monotonous and predictable. I miss conversation with people outside of my family. I miss having debates, differences of opinions and intellect, smart ass teenage ramblings and incessant whining of four year old don't count. Unfortunately hubby isn't much of a thinker or conversationalist, I talk he listens. I didn't marry him for his debating skills, did I mention it's like talking to a wall. Love the man, love the kids just need some good conversation sometimes.

I miss good conversation.