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It's the cutest thing ever Lucky came to us "pre-owned" and with it we were super lucky to say the least...she came fully potty trained but not only that she also "begs", totally cute and irresistible. As my mom says how can I not give her any food, besides everyone is in love with her. She greets everyone who comes into the house, so friendly gentle and lovable. So she's got a fan club because she has the ability to make everyone she comes in contact with special by giving them attention and love.
We've got family members who never considered owning a dog wanting a dog just like her, my mom said to me "You will giver her to me right since I will be alone?" She actually coos and talks to Lucky like a baby and says Lucky is better than a person because she gets up and runs to the door to greet her. She picks her up and cradles in her arms and of course feeds her even though we tell her not to since although cute as she is "begging" its not a good habit. So as like with all the grandchildren she does not listen to what I say but spoils Lucky. I can get over it after all if spoiling Lucky brings her some joy fine.
I worry about her since she has no other life than working...I actually told her I'd wish she would date. She thinks I'm crazy, she says she will never do that, she is waiting to join my dad. I told her he's probably pimping it up there with a bunch of young women while she is worried about being with him! I can't say I admire that about her but I can understand...I find it sad because her entire life was about her husband and his family. She lived her life as a good daughter-in-law of the eldest son however she expects so little from her own daughter-in-laws, although it seems like I fulfill those needs. I don't mind but I wish she would stop living like a martyr because it's hard having a mother that is so damn self sacrificing and a saint. Cause you know what I'm tired of filling those shoes, I've had more than my share of self sacrificing and abuse. I want me time and not feel guilty about it...I want her to take a new outlook of her life and finally live for herself. So maybe I'm wishing for far more than what can be but maybe just maybe with time she can actually have her own life, one that she wants to live, really live not just waiting to die.
That's my wish for Christmas this year for my mom to want to live, to have a fresh start in a new life that she is able to enjoy and find the joy that could be her life! I believe this will help me in my own life, to live my life as I should, to the fullest without regrets, with hope and desire not just wanting to escape, wishing it to be over, to really live. I do want to live, not to go through the motions but create the life I want to have. To be grateful of all that I'm blessed with, so this Christmas Santa please please bring my mom a real desire to want to live her a life and I promise I will live my own!
2 comments:
I'll put your wish on my Santa list too. I think our self sacraficing mothers have inadvertantly created mini-me's in us. God love 'em.
I have fallen in love with your dog just through the two pictures! Shes adorable:)
KP is right, your dog is so adorable.
It is almost brainwashed into our parents' mind that a woman previously married cannot remarry (I think). My Grandmother lost her husband when she was only 25 and NEVER remarried nor would she even think to do so. It is a sad and lonely life. At least we were able to "hog" her during our lives. I think it gave her some meaning and purpose although now I see it as self sacrificing.
I hope your mother will start living life up. I too will put it on my Santa list.
I was thinking about you yesterday when I went to my Grandmother's chesan. Yesterday was dongji (동지) and I was wishing you a new beginning as the New Year approaches. Maybe it'll be new beginnings for your mother too. Sending good thoughts your way.
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