1st Day of Kindergarten.

Today is baby girl's first day of kindergarten and even though I couldn't wait till she started I'am sad. I guess it's bitter sweet since it's an end of a era, end of her needing me so much awhile I felt so suffocated. I'm guilty of wanting my own life, my freedom knowing well enough the day would come where I would feel sad when she left my side. Finally the day has arrived, today is that day of my freedom from her constant where are you mommy, I love you mommy, mommy mommy...all the sounds I dreaded as the replayed over and over. And now I'm left feeling empty and sad...feeling guilty and sad. Silly and stupid..but then I cried even when I took my oldest to school. Guess it's a tradition for me.

Her eyes filled up with tears, as her little face became red and distressed knowing I would leave. She kept on saying please dont leave me mama, please stay....I swallowed back the lump in my throat..not wanting her to see my eyes tear up. The teacher saw she was distressed and asked her to sit by her. And I walked away...she looked at me and I smiled and turned away.

Yes a new era has started, I have my life back but I just realized she is my life.