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Baby girl has a school musical today and if I was a good parent it wouldn't even be a question that I would attend but the ugly parent (the one that I'm) doesn't want to sit in a small auditorium with 500 plus people for an over hour trying to peer over rows of heads to see her. Yeah I suck and I want to be off my duties as a mom for one day...I did the weekly volunteering yesterday beyond my commitment of hour of reading, cleaning, helping with the art projects and then making copies for the 6 first grade classes. So I'm over done, baked, burnt, toasted just so over it. I still have to bake cookies for their Valentine's Day party on Monday besides helping them with the party. Usually I'm not such a grump but quite chirpy and so agreeable as I say yes to everything that is asked of me as what else would I be doing since I'm not working a real job.
I feel useless and the job I'm doing as a parent I seem to be failing rapidly. My son doesn't want to college as he seeks to remind me of every opportunity he has. The sad part is he is really a smart kid, not that just cause he is my kid..hell More like the opposite but he says he hates school...yadda yadda and it isn't for him and he doesn't know what he wants to do. In reality I really do listen to what he has to say maybe too much because I try to work with him. Instead of going straight to a four year college he was going to a community college and transfer but then he wanted to take a year off to travel and just the other night how he isn't made for school. So what does a mother do..he tells me he hates school..shit I hated school..but he doesn't get most people who go hate it but it's about jumping through the hoops, staying with something, finishing the commitment. Although as this point I really want to jump this ship on I'm on called parenting. I tell him I understand but he is the typical teenager who only sees what he wants right now and doesn't get the future is way different than what he thinks of it now. So what do you tell a kid who thinks he has life all figured out..sometimes I think I should have gone with the old school of parenting of not listening to your kids or talking to them but just telling them what to do without any back talk!
Parenting really sucks and I want out!
Umma
1 year ago
1 comment:
My daughter, who just turned 19, is finishing up her first year of college. High school was bad. She's always been smart, ahead of most of her peers, but she discovered a social life in her teen years. I did everything a parent could possibly do to make her take school more seriously. I finally gave in during her junior year. She explained some choices she had made (her reasons impressed me) so I let her do her own thing. I figured that she had to start making the big choices at some point, so what better time than while still living at home? Well, she started to fail an advanced math class she had chosen as an elective. Her teacher contacted her father (who lives elsewhere and is never involved) who called me in a panic. I calmly told him that she had plenty of credits and that this one "F" would not prevent her from graduating, and even if it did, she would be the one to pay the consequences of not trying harder.
As I said, she's now in college. I found out recently that she's missed several class meetings in one of her courses. Well, that's her choice. I haven't pushed her to attend college, but I have explained that she will most likely struggle financially if she doesn't earn a degree. I am the first in my family to go to college, and she is the first of her generation to do so. My point is, my family struggles sometimes, but we all have what we need. It's not great but it could be worse (we're all healthy thank goodness).
My advice is to listen to your son. He's obviously over 18, and college is a choice. Your concerns are very valid, but remember that it's his life. I have told my daughter that if she's not in school, she will have to work full-time and pay rent to live here, just as I did with my mom. It's hard, I know (boy do I know!!) but I see it as the only way for us moms to be.
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